Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
