3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
