if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
