I want to walk on stilts...naked
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
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I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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