your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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