When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize