i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
