I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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