How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
