I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
