Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
