I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
