from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Vodka?
Forever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
