So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
