Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize