Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wish my penis had a tongue
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
whose parrot is this?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
