I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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