I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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