I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
