I'm going to jail i love you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
