it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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