you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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