I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize