what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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