You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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