I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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