Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
