:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
