I miss vodka workout Fridays
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i now understand why vodka
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
