I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
