haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
