They should really pass out barf bags in church
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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