Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
