Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just high enough for therapy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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