How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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