What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
