Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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