Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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