if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
