You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize