TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
sex in a hospital.. check
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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