you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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