As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
