I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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