that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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