Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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