so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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