I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
