he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
