How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
