I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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