So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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