Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
