you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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