Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
