2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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