It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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