I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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