Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
