just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In other news, I just burned my penis
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
