Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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