she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
