Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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