If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
