So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
