i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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